According to Mike

OK, so this story is partially correct. Yes, i am playing a computer game. Normally the lil shit i call Ando just hangs out eats some cotton from his toy, no hit no ball no foul, right? Ok so i am playing and look down. He has a HUGE shit on the floor which he is EATING!!! I am about ready to lose it at this point. I grab him like a mother dog does her babies and throw him over the baby gate (which we use to trap him so he doesnt eat the bean bag, oh wait he alreay did). I let him out. I am ok at this point. I get a plastic bag, a ziploc bag, and some paper towels. I am walking down the stairs and i am thinking about wtf i am about to do and i am on the verge of VOMIT. Let me tell you, i don't get sick to smells, or gross stories or other debachury (i can't spell, i have been drinking). I am literally sick to my stomach. I put the ziploc bag on my hand to protect it from the EXPOSIVE DIAHERRA (spelling again, drunk). I hold onto the paper towels and i pick it up. This stuff STINKS. Like i can smell it upstairs stinks. I take it outside and i let the dog out, he got to stay outside til brooke got home.

That is the REAL story. Retained tampoon has NOTHING on your dog (who you love and let lick you) eating his own shit.

I deserve a metal, yes.